This is GOOP.

This week, for some reason, (relatively) popular actress Gwyneth Paltrow launched a website. And it is called Goop.com. Why Goop? ...I don't know. And neither does anyone else. It appears to be a store-based site, which would be awesome if the store wasn't already broken. So we're left with a perplexing page with the simple message: "nourish the inner aspect." Okay, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? I like it when websites don't dumb down material for their audience, but this is the latest stroke of pretentiousness by that woman married to that singer of that second-rate British rock group that sold millions last year.

Or, it could be the funniest site ever. I'm not quite sure.

In lieu of meaningful content...

I present to you what will undoubtedly be the finest experience of 2009. This is the story of The Uncler.

The Uncler w/ Uncle Sam and Alyssa Milano from Alyssa Milano

Witness the resurrection of Uncle Sam, indeed. God bless ya.