The "Greatest" Month in Film.

There's something about the month of January that is eerily fascinating to me. By all means, it's the most boring month of the year, even with the conclusion of college football's bowl season and the NFL playoffs. Nothing really happens in January except returning to school and usually frigid weather. Which is why it still staggers me that movies actually get released in January. I mean, yeah, awards season fare is going to go wide in January, typically, but for the most part, the movies in January are downright terrible. They're the type of fare that's only notable because it will be on TNT at noon on Saturdays in about three years.

And at the same time, January films fascinate me immensely.

Because if a movie comes out in January, it undoubtedly is because it's following some crappy trend that was a few years old, and surprise surprise, the movies end up being pretty horrible. Here is some nice examples:

The Unborn: This is another likely forgettable movie from director David Goyer. David Goyer is famous for basically being really good at writing with famous directors on famous comic book franchises (he co-wrote Batman Begins and has story credit for The Dark Knight). But as a director, he has incredibly poor taste in bad horror. His directing slate has been Blade: Trinity, the forgettable The Invisible, and now another crappy looking movie with a creepy kid. (And one that randomly has Dexter's dad and Vince Masuka in it. Yes, you kind of have to watch Dexter to understand.) And worse yet, the J-horror looking "creepy PG-13" horror film craze is really dead.

Not Easily Broken: This is the second writing effort from the surprisingly entertaining (for an agnostic who dislikes) preacher T.D. Jakes, as in 2004, he wrote the off-color but better than expected Woman Thou Art Loosed. But this is totally sold as Tyler Perry-lite, even down to the slick RnB soundtrack of the ads, so expectations are low.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop: Or, Kevin James is Fat and Wacky: The Movie.

To show how amazingly dull January really is, there are FOUR major horror releases out this month, two "The" generic horror romps (The other is The Uninvited, starring Elizabeth Banks as some weird mix of Rebecca DeMornay in The Hand That Rocks The Cradle and Miri from Zack and Miri.), and two generic resuscitation attempts of properties that weren't very good to begin with (Underworld 3 and My Bloody Valentine 3D).

That said, hope is not lost. Not when Liam Neeson is forced to kill a lot of people to get back his family. Even if Neeson's Taken is basically Death Wish VI (since Death Sentence was basically Death Wish V), Neeson's just too awesome to ignore. People forget until they see the commercial for Taken just how good Liam Neeson is at his job. And Taken could be the most preposterous movie in history, but Neeson will sell the movie like it is cold, hard reality.

So what I'm ultimately saying is that for a film geek that normally laughs at January, Hollywood might surprise me. They might make ONE January release that I remember for once. And that gives me a very warm feeling in a frigid month.

(And no, I didn't bring up Bride Wars because I love Anne Hathaway too much to get my Rachel Getting Married memories soiled by a forgettable rom-com that serves its purpose of giving her a paycheck that's nice.)