I'm sorry, I really don't like The Killers.

Okay, this post might need a bit of explaining. Around four years ago, I was an unwitting pop music connoisseur. I was exiting my phase of listening to such mind-expanding acts as Limp Bizkit and Nelly, and I latched on to this band from Las Vegas that really really wanted to sound like British New Wave. This band is The Killers, and something attracted me to their heartwarming tales about how someone told the vocalist that his girlfriend had a boyfriend that looked like a girlfriend he had around January. As well as time, truth, and hearts.

Now, I'll gladly admit that I enjoyed this pap in 2004. However, this attempt to remake New Wave's music in a sort of redundant New New Wave has out and out failed. The lyrics of The Killers either make no sense at all or they are horribly overwritten and pretentious. Everything runs as some sort of symbolism that's always overdone. And ultimately, their songs can be split into two categories. They either focus on seducing a girl -- or boy since vocalist Brandon Flowers remembers that new wave groups always hinted at being gay -- or the "glamour" of indie rock, which is something of an oxymoron. The following are actual lines from the group's songs.

They say the devil's water/It ain't so sweet/You don't have to drink right now/But you can dip your feet/Every once in a little while

I pull up to the front of your driveway/With magic soakin' my spine

Racey days/Help me through the hopeless haze/But my oh my/Tragic eyes/I can't even recognize myself behind

And the most inane, from the chorus of their newest single "Human."

Are we human or are we dancer?

Really. I'm being serious, that is an actual line in a song. God, I can't stand this band. And the thing is, I own Hot Fuss. I checked out Sawdust and don't mind "Read My Mind" from Sam's Town only because it is the only tolerable thing on an album that manages to be horrible at not just creating poor lyrics. It manages to fail at any of the things it tries, such as mixing its already silly New New Wave sound with arena rock.

When Duran Duran talked about being "Hungry Like The Wolf," you got that it was the lead singer showing his sexual frustration followed by his desire for some random street walker. Or just being hungry. Either way, it wasn't entirely nonsensical, even if the song was horribly cheesy.

However, Flowers and his constant need for silly symbolism always falls apart at the seams. He puts a ridiculous amount of Christian imagery in "When You Were Young" when the entire point of the song is supposed to be falling in love (or probably just having sex) with a guy. And come on, he actually used the line "Are we human or are we dancer?" in a song. It's not like we're talking about a guy who's had a couple of cases of bad lyrical craftsmanship.

And I don't even hate the new new wave movement, as redundant and silly as it is. I do listen to a group like The Bravery from time to time, and even if The Bravery is as guilty of silly lyrics, they aren't nearly as epically pretentious with their efforts. And they also didn't butcher Joy Division's "Shadowplay" either.

Actually, you know what. Maybe I can sum this post up in one sentence: The fact that Sawdust exists is probably a sign of the apocalypse.