A start to a lament on the film industry.

When I was in my early teens, you do not know the obsession that I had with movies. I watched dozens and dozens of movies in those days with an intent of having an opinion on them, and dammit, if anybody was going to ask me about the quality of Swimfan, then I would have a great answer for them. This I knew for certain.

Then I guess I grew up. My habit was plagued by poor economic circumstances mixed in with frankly having no desire to watch crappy movies. I once had a free ticket to Doom which I used. Also, I forgot how much I hated that movie until I reminded myself of that just now. But either way, I just lost it.

Worse yet, this year was the true moment of uncare. I finally realized at the ripe old age of 19 something that's been obvious for years, that films have simply lost their cahones. None of the major releases seem to take chances that lead to successful results. Tropes like the ridiculous action movie or even the film that takes a chance are the last bastions of true artistic expression we have as a society. Everyone's favorite movie when they were a kid was the Schwarzenegger/Stallone action films. Were any of these features smart? No. But they showed one guy killing a bunch of guys and things that only exist in the tropes of action movies. These things made two funny Hot Shots movies possible and made millions smile.

However, we're dawning into scary times. The Rambos of the world are dying off, and action movies that embrace pure ridiculousness are being seen by lesser and lesser people. And yet, PG-13 horror films, PG-13 comic adaptations that forget that the basic essence of the character is R-rated (Wolverine), and PG-13 genre flicks have ruled the roost, trying to pass themselves off as serious entertainment and taking no risks. Where is the cahones, guys?

Crank 2: High Voltage came out a month back to zero fanfare whatsoever. This movie is exactly the perfect hate it or love it film, however, because it is non-stop violence, non-stop depravity, and a complete embrace that everything that has happened in the film is completely ridiculous. It is disturbing at times and wonderful at barraging the senses with pictures that are hard to turn away from, all the while Jason Statham continues to add to a reputation as secretly one of the funniest guys in film. Crank 2 has made all of $14 million at the U.S. box office.

Watchmen would be another example of putting true cahones to an idea of making the exact film that you want. And yet, Warner Brothers has lost money on the project and even the same critics that would normally be impressed by a literal adaptation felt that the film was just not good enough.

A laundry list of these films could be placed: Next Day Air, which actually has the wherewithall to make its stoner leads unlikable, is currently getting beaten by the stunningly casual Star Trek. Observe and Report failed because Hannah Montana is more popular (and okay, a dark R-rated comedy doesn't beat a G-rated family pic). I'd even go so far as to say that Battle for Terra was a risky picture that just unfortunately failed (and was oddly message-filled for a kids film, similar to another risky failure in 2008's City of Ember). 

Either way, I'm a little disappointed for the future. I won't suddenly hate movies or anything, but please, someone, I'm begging you, take that risk and just go out there. I don't know if I'm fully ready to swallow another Ghosts of Girlfriends Past.

Hulu Watching Experience: Species III

There are obviously a lot of awesome franchises in history. None of those revolve around a third installment that goes directly to video. However, the Species franchise is a perplexing series of films that start from mediocre to bad to worse, as is the case with Species III. Species III is in itself almost symbolic of the franchise in its three acts.

Act One is an installment with a decent bit of gore and a lot of random sci-fi mumbo jumbo that's ultimately insignificant, but there's nothing especially bad in these scenes. Plus, there's nudity.

Act Two is stiflingly boring, with a ridiculous amount of half-breed suited strangeness and ridiculous amounts of gore for the sake of itself.

Act Three is hilarious and then crappy and then a hilariously stupid cop-out makes it hilariously crappy.

Might as well earn my nonexistent keep and explain further. Species III opens with a lovely sequence involving the military and Natasha Henstridge's (apparent) dead body. Henstridge is still portraying Eve from Species II, and that creature comes back to life, has a weird baby and then some fat kid is involved. This all would've been so awesome if an arty guy took hold of this and just added more random abstract screwed up things, but instead, we're left to our own devices as far as good filmmaking goes. Anyways, a scientist takes the baby home, and that baby quickly grows up to be a girl and then through some more weird circumstances, a naked woman appears. A couple of deaths happen, but only because, as we all know, men are pigs.

That particular message is one thing the Species franchise has attempted to do from the beginning in that they establish that man's desire for sex is so so irrational that nearly all of them would violate such a right when graced by the beauty of some odd half breed alien who looks like your average GAP model. In a way, it's objectifying to both males and females. The females' only purpose in this film is to have sex and create life, and even when Sunny Mabrey's blonde Sara learns about chess apparently from just touching a book, this information is irrelevant to her. Her whole "purpose" is sex. But she also has the excuse of being a half-breed, where apparently, reproduction is the only thing that matters. The males in this movie not only don't have that excuse, but barring three characters, the male race is treated as if sex is their only goal. Rape is pretty much an action on everyone's mind. Even the half breed attempts to rape her in a sequence where both I and the goofy Dean (played by Robin Dunne) both yelled that he was trying to rape her.

This isn't even bringing up the fact that the blonde Sara is viewed as perfection whereas the suddenly introduced brunette Amelia is the film's villain for whatever reason. That might be a bit of a poor comment on America's love for blondes.

And now I realize I'm overthinking one of the more dumb but entertaining movies I've seen in a while. Though, it's just dumb. You can't describe it any other way.

Rating: REALLY BAD

Next time, I'll cleanse the palette of horrible direct to video movies and review one of the most beloved sequels of all time...ROCKY III!

(Something About) Watching The Watchmen.

Around 25 hours ago as I write this, I went to go see Watchmen in the theaters. And while I had a big long spiel about the idea of this world being parallel to our own, similarities to the age of terror, the cute jokes about Nixon's fifth term and Ronny Reagan being taken not seriously as a presidential candidate and such, but it would be rather fruitless.

I will say this, though. You have to really be into the material from the start to truly enjoy it at its finest level. This doesn't mean that you have to read the novels or anything to get it, but if you think this will be a typical action movie, then you're going to be shaken. This isn't even anything like director Zack Snyder's last comic adaptation 300, whose entire purpose was to be a generic action movie with fun video game-like Spartan violence. This, however, hits more than a basic good vs. evil dynamic and does it in pretty stunning fashion. Everyone here is given something that they are truly responsible for as far as a bad decision or a decision that puts their human value to the test. And yet, everyone is given a steady reason to do what they do (barring Ozymandius, but his storyline's chopping probably helped destroy the more nuanced elements of his character).

I will cut it here because I'm certain this would quickly dip into spoiler territory, but overall, barring a few decisions that could've been more chaste and my personal feeling that length does hurt a movie from time to time, this was a fine fine film. This is all I will dip into about watching the Watchmen at this time.

Hulu Watching Experience: St. Elmo's Fire

In around 1985, a cultural moment happened in modern American history. As Reagan ruled his second term and the youth of America was busy brooding and taking copious amounts of drugs, something represented those young men and women's idealism. That was the top 40 hit "St. Elmo's Fire (Man in Motion)" by John Parr, in which Parr quips that he's gonna be your man in motion and all he need is a pair of wheels. He tells them to take him where his future's lyin', St. Elmo's Fire. And apparently, a film was made out of this popular song, in which almost none of these upbeat traits were really brought up.

Instead, the 1985 film St. Elmo's Fire is a melodrama of the highest degree, pounding depression upon depression, never letting anyone figure out why this gang was so united in the first place and thus why we should care that their rash decisions are destroying each other's lives. Also, Demi Moore seems like a crappy person, so why is everyone suddenly concerned to help her? I guess there is a bit of truth to the one person who is friends with everyone but is grating, but then, well...they help her too much.

That said, one positive is that Ally Sheedy is gorgeous. I mean, for about five years between 1983 (with WarGames) and 1988 (with Short Circuit 2), she had to be the most demurely attractive woman on the big screen. And at 46, she hasn't aged terribly. But nonetheless, one positive is that Ally's just in it. Just that she's in it in general is awesome.

But there's too much unexplained. Judd Nelson works for a Republican despite being the Pres of the College Democrats Association, which is poorly explained, really. Emilio Estevez borders on pure obsession with his ninth-grade fantasy girl, to the point of throwing a party with entirely the purpose of her coming, and throwing it in the house that the man who gave him money (since the girl wanted a financially secure man) to keep it safe. Ally's uncertain, and nearly married to Judd. Andy McCartney is brooding and writerly, and not anything like say...me for instance. Not at all, in fact... Demi Moore's crazy, sounds about 40, and is by all means, sleeping with most everybody. And I forgot the others.

St. Elmo's in a modern context is probably poor, but films usually attempt to place a specific feeling of a time and a place. However, we merely get the idea that some of the guys from The Breakfast Club came together to make a movie that also tries to speak to a set of people, but really only spoke about how friendships are fleeting when people really fall in love, and I guess that love is a dangerous thing that fails. Oh, and that we make really big deals out of things that are nothing, as Rob Lowe must tell Demi and the audience in the last five minutes.

Sorry guy, not interesting enough.

Rating: MEDIOCRE

The next entry will be on a fine cinematic experience known as SPEED 2: CRUISE CONTROL. This will be very very interesting, followers.

Hulu Watching Experience: American Psycho 2

(This review contains a good bit of spoilers...but the title is kind of a spoiler anyway and let's be honest, I doubt you're going to watch this crap.)

I have never tried to make a film before nor have I ever been to Hollywood, but I'd imagine it's hard to get funding for a major feature film. You have to convince people that their idea is so worthwhile that they can throw away millions upon millions of dollars just to see whatever you wrote be put on celluloid. In fact, most of the films people bemoan as crappy Hollywood studio flicks are made to appeal to all demographics, so thus, they're naturally pretty impersonal.

I bring this up because American Psycho 2: All-American Girl was originally known as The Girl Who Wouldn't Die, and had nothing to do with the 2000 satire at all. Mind you, even as a "sequel" in its final form, it still has nothing to do with the original, and seems almost angry that you would ever compare such a film to it. And much like the great schoolwide tradition of Opposite Day, this "sequel" accomplishes the exact opposite of its original.

AP2 opens with a woman, a 12-year-old girl, and a man, introduced as Psycho's Patrick Bateman. After calling him creepy and such, the little girl kills Bateman easily. So basically, the awesome villain of the first film is buried in the first five minutes because a psycho broad just stabs him. This is only the beginning...

This 12-year-old girl grows up to be Mila Kunis, who all of six years later is a girl in college that is whip smart and as hot as Mila Kunis should be. She also says "That's what your mama said" to people. I guess this is what smart people do. Four minutes in, another man named WILLIAM SHATNER shows up. The Shat provides some wonderful merryment and has a creepy romance with one of his students, because obviously, professors sleep with their students, y'see. Kunis then says that she wants to be his teacher's assistant, because somehow, all of Shat's teacher's assistants make it to FBI training. We are introduced to the three hapless teens that aren't Mila Kunis including the weird awkward rich guy, the weird hot blonde, and the weird black guy with dreads. They all die, don't worry. But not before a whiny assistant dies (after making a Ricky Martin and Ricky Ricardo joke about a cat), and before a whacky date between Mila and awkward rich guy, who clearly notes "You have to eat. I have to eat. Let's eat together." I'm using that one next time. This leads to him being so concerned about the T.A. job that encycles the whole movie that he's willing to pay Mila SEVEN FIGURES to drop it. This job is clearly serious. So Mila takes him back to his room, and kills him and such.

These first 30 minutes begin a curious question of what this film's intent truly was. The violence is too implied for an R-rated horror flick. The script is too poorly written to be perceived as intentionally funny, and the acting is too straight-faced to be considered campy. The film is also not a satire in any sort of way, unless its attempts to mock the collegiate system of thinking, and obsessing over insignificant jobs is perceived to be clever. Which while, those elements are involved, they take a backseat to building up Jackie from That 70s Show as a killer mastermind. The music selections are poor, even when such acts as Rilo Kiley and Imogen Heap are among the soundtrack's offerings. They don't really fit the tone in any sort of way...that is, unless we were not supposed to gauge a tone from this movie.

Which, I guess is as good as anything. I'm too lazy to really write up everything that happens, but we essentially build up to Ms. Kunis being ONE IN A BILLION. Her cleverness is so much so that she kills 10 people, and only three of them have a missing persons report out for them, and the cops only come into play over an hour into the feature. Which again, is probably satire, which again, the film fails miserably at doing correctly. By the end of the feature, Kunis is revealed to be so clever that NO ONE BUT ONE PERSON notices that she has changed her identity twice, and that the second identity has taken her to a top FBI position. At least one of the guys is killed in the wide open in a library. Another of the dead bodies is seen by a janitor and a security guard, both later killed, and both never found out about again. By this film's conclusion, I had cackled at the logic mistakes, the poor writing, and the completely horrid attempts at actual humor.

What American Psycho succeeded in making an iconic character who in turn was a great satirizing of yuppie culture and the idea of certain "stereotypes" being safer than others, AP2 all but destroys at the seams. It does not help that Mila Kunis is not Christian Bale, and that American Psycho 2 is not American Psycho.

Rating: REALLY BAD (out of a scale of REALLY BAD, SLIGHTLY BAD, MEDIOCRE, PRETTY GOOD, and AWESOME)

(Writer's Note: Tomorrow might have a selection, and if it does, it'll be ST. ELMO'S FIRE. This will be better than American Psycho 2, I promise, but will it be as fun to write? Find out tomorrow/soon.)

The Hulu Watching Experience, Or Movie Sequels I Watch on Hulu and Will Review

If you are much like me these days, you are probably broke, out of money, and yet feel a need to watch a movie. Now, well, you're broke, so you're not going to suddenly rent a movie...but you don't prefer breaking the law. This means Hulu.com is the only option. And this left me with a wonderful idea. Over the next couple of weeks, I shall review any movie that I've haven't seen before. I will also add the caveat that they HAVE to be sequels. So any of these movies might be on the list to come:

American Psycho 2
Speed 2: Cruise Control
The Karate Kid III
Beethoven's 2nd
FX II
Revenge of the Pink Panther
St. Elmo's Fire (which isn't a sequel, but it has an awesome title song and is basically the sequel to Breakfast Club)
Amityville II: The Possession


Still, this will be exciting, rant-filled, and enjoyable for everyone. I will have something on American Psycho 2 tonight. I suspect this will not be boring.

The Politically Incorrect Oscar Report.

I give you the warning in the title.

Anyways, Oscar is all about awesome, totally non superficial things. I don't remember anything that's of note here other than that this year's ceremony went for two demographics that have seemingly NEVER EVER been targeted before at these ceremonies: young females (specifically teens who will probably sit through crappy technical awards to see Ed Cullen) and gay men. After all, Tonys host Hugh Jackman hosted the thing and...sung and danced a lot like he was at the Tonys. I guess this is supposed to be high energy, but it only proved that the era of the musical has been dead for a long time (which will be mentioned shortly).

So, let's get to some thoughts.

- Wow, too much makeup and not enough good expensive clothes.

I mean, everyone looked...pretty bad, actually. Even the secret loves of my life, Tina Fey and Anne Hathaway had pretty unflattering dresses, though, I felt they looked great in spite of this. (Amy Adams didn't, which depressed me a lot.) This also began a trend of evil. Also Miley Cyrus had more cleavge than 85% of the red carpet. This was disturbing on many many levels.

- Penelope won for Woody Allen's deal, and I realized Oscar has no love for the pole, and yes love for a random lesbian makeout.

No opinion really, just adds to the trend of this year's show being...pretty gay in the actual non-pejorative sense of the term.

- Hugh Jackman sang and did musical numbers.

He was a good singer, but...I still can't say I liked it. That is all.

- Milk won one too many awards.

I am not going to lie, I can't judge performances that I haven't seen. Now, Sean Penn is an actor's actor, so he's probably awesome in Milk and maybe more awesome than Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler. But wow, the Academy opened themselves a dumb can of worms by picking Penn over Rourke. Both of them are polar opposites. Rourke is a "tell it like it is" man that doesn't care who respects him and was actually probably the least hurt by him not winning, but that's exactly what makes him an interesting and great person. Not to mention, this was kind of the performance of his life and all. So instead of an impassioned speech with conviction, we instead got Sean Penn informing the viewer what they frankly should have the common sense to know, such as PROP 8 IS BAD. At the end of the day, it felt like the Academy was trying to make up for the fact that they voted Crash over Brokeback a few years back and never heard the end of it from critics. Too bad it came at Mickey's expense.

That said, Ben Kingsley had speech of the night for his awesome speech to Mickey. That was a moment where the award almost didn't matter in comparison to the people loving his comeback.

- Rogen and Franco revisiting Pineapple Express = fried gold.

Funniest thing of the night. One of those moments in a three hour telecast where I kind of felt I didn't waste my life away watching something. Although, in fairness, I can't act like my time is super precious anyway. I would've spent it typing on a computer probably instead. Still, it was worth it for such things as James Franco admiring James Franco's performance in Milk and for confusing The Love Guru with Slumdog Millionaire.

Beyonce and Hugh Jackman sung songs from Singin' in the Rain.

Not only did this actually happen, which made me weep for poor departed Gene Kelly, but this led to a medley in which songs from High School Musical and Mamma Mia were used. These films are not Singin' in the Rain or even Chicago for that matter. (And I can't stand Chicago.) And I knew then why men hate musicals (because say what you want, but Gene Kelly was a man's musical guy), because most of the ones that have came down the pike in the current century have all ultimately sucked beyond comprehension. These songs were not made any better by say Amanda Seyfried, whose entire claim to fame is being the chick from Mean Girls who said her boobs had a sense of whether or not it was going to rain. I wept for humanity.

- Random moments of laughter:
The Asian director with the comically bucktoothed look.
Mel Gibson's awesome new moustache (which you should search out).
Seth Rogen laughing at James Franco's inability to properly pronounce a foreign filmmaker's name.
Alan Arkin honoring "Seymour Phillip Hoffman."
Whatever committee that had serious thought that Jessica Biel, Zac Efron, Vanessa Anne Hudgens, Miley Cyrus, and Robert Pattinson should actually be in the building.
AR Rahman being awesomely nervous to accept two awards, and not nervous singing "Jai Ho."
Seeing the Millionaire Host from Slumdog and wishing that someone led to him yelling "You're absolutely RIGHT."
Will Smith.
Revolutionary Road being in the romance montage.

Oh, wow, this has gone far too long. I wasted my life once again, but eh, it was fun while it lasted.

Oh, and screw you Sean Penn. I still don't like you.

Yay, Hollywood is political. (The shock of the century, no doubt.)

In an article that was written the day after the SAG Awards were given out and on the heels of the announcement that Golden Globe winner Mickey Rourke has decided to participate in Vince McMahon's sports entertainment spectacle Wrestlemania, pundits and the like think that Mickey Rourke's effort to be a case of life imitating art will cost him an Oscar. Now, there isn't much of an opinion on this to say that this is a legitimate issue. While the NY Mag article says that there's an implicit anti-Wrestlemania bias, they also have not had a major pro wrestling movie that has been solid enough to warrant even caring about such a thing. So basically, no one truly knows the truth in this situation.

However, if the issue of Sean Penn's performance and Mickey Rourke's performance is being decided because the latter actually wants to embrace the thing he portrayed, I see that as a non-issue. Of course, I'm viewing things through the scope of a perfect world where scripted sport is somehow shunned when scripted entertainment is seen as okay. But then again, that's another point for another time.

What is the point is the ridiculous possibility of something that's seen as "lower entertainment" being the cause of another's downfall and not say THE PERFORMANCE. Again, of course, politics is nothing new in Hollywood. Still, you kind of want some release from that perspective and that feeling that hey, maybe the BEST PERFORMANCE OF THE YEAR can win for such an achievement. Will that future subjectively ever happen? Well, no. But maybe I'm a dreamer. Maybe I'm just idealizing things. Who knows? Maybe Rourke wins an Oscar, goes to the main event of Wrestlemania, beats that Chris Jericho in a match with the Ram Jam, and grins the biggest grin he can. See kids? Idealized futures are pretty cool.

Thoughts I Thought During the Golden Globes.

- Kate Winslet deserved about two Golden Globes and six Oscars for that one scene they showed from The Reader.
Because wow. I didn't think I'd be amazed by a scene that roughly constitutes to a man getting out of a bath and a woman hugging him. That's good filmmaking. No wait, brilliant filmmaking. Stephen Daldry is my hero.

- Ricky Gervais: one of the few men to ever make the Holocaust funny.
And that's only because he mocked the fact that every other movie this year had to have a friggin' Nazi in it.

- Tracy Morgan makes something with Cate Blanchett funny.
"Deal with it, Cate Blanchett!"

- Tina Fey makes something with DianeFan funny.
"Suck it, DianeFan." Basically 30 Rock made the show amazing. Go Sarah Palin!

- Colin Farrell made me forget in roughly two minutes that this man was in Miami Vice, Alexander, Hart's War, The Recruit, Phone Booth, Daredevil, and American Outlaws. (The last two I had to look up.)
Plus he won for In Bruges. Which I hear is mindblowingly awesome, and probably made up for S.W.A.T. and Pride and Glory at least.

- What group of people thought that basically showing the ending to Slumdog Millionaire was a brilliant idea?
Really, what group? Especially when it winning Best Drama Picture or whatever, more people are by default interested. So you basically give them most of the final frames, and tell them to act surprised. Good work, Golden Globes.

- The last two awards. What greatness.
Mickey Rourke takes home Best Actor, and it's well deserved. Even if Penn's performance is more actorly, Rourke's is pure awesome. And then we got a great Globes moment when Darren Aronofsky gives the finger on live TV. And Mickey Rourke made looking really rubbery look cool (and tragic) in The Wrestler, followed now by looking like Johnny Depp circa 2003. Good man. Bring on Iron Man 2!

Slumdog Millionaire takes home Best Drama Picture and it's well deserved. Although, The Reader is probably more jarring, and Benjamin Button probably deserves its praise, Slumdog is the one that at least gives the most joy with its conclusion. (Which you can sum up by the fact that The Reader is about a Nazi war crime trial and Ben Button is about death or Brad Pitt or both.) Come on, it could be worse. Revolutionary Road could've won. Plus, the producer said the "f" word (even if it was blanked) on live TV. Which was pretty funny.

- Most of the funny people gave no crap, and most of the not funny people were friggin' hilarious.
Seth Rogen wasn't funny, which was stunning. Sacha Baron Cohen was painfully unfunny. And then Mickey Rourke thought that Downey should speak for him, and it was hilarious. Same with Colin Farrell talking about cocaine and getting into an almost literary tirade during his acceptance speech. Same with stoned Renee Zellweger. Okay, that was only funny because, wow, she fell off fast.

So yes, fun show that was cool to watch. The three hours went by pretty quickly, and there was a lot of entertainment to be had. The Oscars could learn to just remove that host formality and just get to the awards for once this year.

Kevin Smith and Zack and Miri.

Warning: Entry contains a lot of Kevin Smith movie spoilers. Be warned.

I'm not going to lie, I'm a Kevin Smith obsessive. I've seen every one of the flicks, watched 2 1/2 of the Evening with Kevin Smith DVDs, and listened to nearly all of his podcast with producer Scott Mosier entitled SModCast. I love this man, in a totally hetero way. Thus, I immediately had to see his latest, Zack and Miri Make A Porno, and it didn't disappoint, though, there were a couple of dangerous trends that seem consistent with Smith.

The first is that his films never ever gross more than $30 million domestically at the box office. This isn't bad if it's a movie like 2006's Clerks II where the project revels in being awesomely low-budget, despite its more mainstream approach. However, on a project like Zack and Miri or Jersey Girl, there is decidedly more being banked on because of the star power of Ben Affleck or Seth Rogen. Admittedly, this is very unfair to point out as a problem on Smith, because he makes the content he wants to and almost all of the features have earned their money back in then some on DVD. Not to mention, Zack and Miri was released on Halloween, one week before another R-rated comedy in Role Models as well as the same night that young adults really don't want to see movies. This would undoubtedly lead to a rant about the idiocy of the Weinstein Company, but I'll avoid that rant for now.

The second, however, is a more legit criticism. Smith's efforts to hamfist a love story into all of his works is becoming pretty ridiculous. The brilliant thing about the first Clerks movie was the fact that at the end of the day, the lead protagonist Dante still had his troubles and still had to decide between the woman that loves him and the woman he inexplicably loves. However, in Clerks II and Zack and Miri, the lead character is inexplicably in love with a character and their response is to be in love back with him. Both do attempt to handle it in some way that says that great friendship could always lead to great love, but in both films it feels forced and it's often the weakest part of the story. It also wrongly accuses that friends who have random acts of sex at points during their friendship are totally in love and set for perfect matrimony. I'm not a humbug for love or anything of the sort and I enjoy both movies immensely despite my dislike for the ending, but Smith trying to be overly sentimental isn't as cool with me.

Of course, Zack and Miri is a pile of laughs regardless. That aspect of the films hasn't changed, really. Smith writing dirty jokes for funny people to say still works. And Smith is making a capable movie in a different universe than the New Jersey flicks and succeeded for the most part with the content. The acting's all pretty solid, as even real porn stars such as Katie Morgan and Traci Lords are not wooden in the film and that's a perfectly fine achievement for any filmmaker to make. (Well, as fine an achievement as that Boondock Saints guy getting a hilariously odd performance out of Ron Jeremy.)

The characters show enough of Smith's trademark wit without it entirely being a situation where every character is essentially Kevin Smith. This doesn't have problems of a movie like say Mallrats where both leads are thinner, sexier version of Smith's thoughts essentially. Sure, there's a lot of times where the Zack character is Kevin Smith as portrayed by Seth Rogen, but Rogen's comedic sensibilities are already a nice match to Smith's writing. And even in comparison to Rogen's work in Judd Apatow's features, the straight-laced female here is at least given a chance to be reasonably funny here.

Nonetheless, I think I'm just going on and on at this point. I think that since this is about four weeks out from the release of the movie, you're not likely to find it in any theatrical screens anywhere near you, but check it out on DVD. However, if you already can't stand Smith's increasingly mainstream sensibilities (which, in fairness, he's had in basically every feature since Clerks) you probably won't dig this. Oh, and if you don't like the subject matter, you won't like it, either. But if you're a Smith fan, well, you probably already saw it. And you probably loved it.